New location for the 2013 version:
http://kevinmorice2013.blogspot.co.uk
The draft posts that I have decided to keep will move across there as and when I decide to publish them.
Monday 31 December 2012
2012 in numbers
So here are how the numbers break down for 2012.
And here is the 2011 version for comparison.
Since I got back in the gym at the start of the year I have managed to get most of this back on track.
Running
Worst! Year! Ever!
Might as well start with the bad. Even when I was sprinting I would clock over 650 training miles a year. In 2011, despite barely running after July I still logged over 780 miles. In 2012 I am at just 252 miles total, with 110 of those on the treadmill. 26 miles (over 10% of the yearly total) have been in the last 9 days of the year.
Last year's 124 miles of racing was my lowest ever. Until now. This year I didn't even break 37 miles of racing, all in triathlons. Less than a third of the distance I was racing when I was covering it as quarter mile at a time, less than I covered in just 2 races last year.
Biking
Major change for the positive on this one. Previous years have been 388 (2010) and 255 (2011), but 2012 has seen me ride 1,598 miles. Averaging nearly 31 miles a week. Over a third of those (688) have been on the exercise bike in the gym at work and another 166 have been on the mountain bike that I got this time last year. In races I somehow put in 161miles. Doing two standard triathlons (Knockburn and Huntly) account for 50 of those. But even including that this is another big increase in the numbers.
The increased time spent biking doesn't cover the drop in running but it did at least minimise the impact.
Swimming
My unofficial plan for the year was to average a mile a week and swim 52miles in total. By the end of August I was averaging 1.2 and I changed my target to 60. Then with the snapped collar bone I had to miss a lot of swimming and at the last TPT swim session of the year I took my total to 52.01miles for the year over 71 sessions. So I am going to call this a success based on the original target and the step up from previous years.
I still need to sort out my turns as I am losing a body-length on every turn against the tumble-turners. That is about 8% each length on a short course swim.
Session totals
Lots of short sessions in the gym at work this year mean this number is back to 'normal'. It took a while to get moving this year but I am back up to 250 sessions for the year.
The raw number is a bit of a fudge though. As the average time of a 2012 training session is less than 70% of previous years, even with the 3 hour bike rides counted in. The short swim and gym sessions are keeping this number high but majorly cutting total training time.
1902 miles total. Big step from the 1068 of 2011, but again a fudge by trading bike miles for run miles.
Blogging
Actually I have typed parts of 33 blogs this year. I just haven't published a lot of them this time round. Some of this is changing over the holidays as I tidy them up or move them to my new 2013 blog. (http://kevinmorice2013.blogspot.co.uk).
Weight
From the crazy lows of 69kg in August 2011, I have managed to stabilise my weight again. Since July this year I have been sitting at 77kg give or take a couple (76kg post-ride today). Still nearly half a stone lighter than I probably should be, 10lbs under my "ideal" BMI. But no longer at the dangerous or freakish levels and even though I have moved it around from 75-80 through the year it has been a general trend for improvement, even when I have been getting lighter it has been through increased training load and when I have been getting heavier it has been trading flabby bits for useful muscle. I even managed to adapt my diet enough so there were no wild changes when I had to sit around doing nothing for 8 weeks with the snapped collar bone.
In general my diet this year has improved on average but with having one bad day of take-out or eating out almost weekly. My diet this may have to change again if I can get my running numbers back up. The current healthier diet does enough calories for what I am doing but won't cope with my planned training load for 2013.
Other numbers
1 broken bone, requiring 2 trips to A&E, 2 to surgery and 8 to clinic appointments. Resulting in 1 surgical intervention (eventually) to fit 1 titanium plate and 8 screws to hold together the 4 pieces.
Also 18 visits to 2 psychiatrists. Finally done with them though.
27 trips to the cinema on my new Cineworld movie pass. Some great (Pitch Perfect, Skyfall, Avengers, Dark Knight Returns), some decent (John Carter, Argo, 21 Jump Street and Magic Mike were all worth the trip) but too many of them were truly terrible (Hobbit, Prometheus, Hunger Games, Lockout, Amazing Spiderman, Bourne Legacy, Savages). Hope next year is more of the former and less of the latter.
And here is the 2011 version for comparison.
Since I got back in the gym at the start of the year I have managed to get most of this back on track.
Running
Worst! Year! Ever!
Might as well start with the bad. Even when I was sprinting I would clock over 650 training miles a year. In 2011, despite barely running after July I still logged over 780 miles. In 2012 I am at just 252 miles total, with 110 of those on the treadmill. 26 miles (over 10% of the yearly total) have been in the last 9 days of the year.
Last year's 124 miles of racing was my lowest ever. Until now. This year I didn't even break 37 miles of racing, all in triathlons. Less than a third of the distance I was racing when I was covering it as quarter mile at a time, less than I covered in just 2 races last year.
Biking
Major change for the positive on this one. Previous years have been 388 (2010) and 255 (2011), but 2012 has seen me ride 1,598 miles. Averaging nearly 31 miles a week. Over a third of those (688) have been on the exercise bike in the gym at work and another 166 have been on the mountain bike that I got this time last year. In races I somehow put in 161miles. Doing two standard triathlons (Knockburn and Huntly) account for 50 of those. But even including that this is another big increase in the numbers.
The increased time spent biking doesn't cover the drop in running but it did at least minimise the impact.
Swimming
My unofficial plan for the year was to average a mile a week and swim 52miles in total. By the end of August I was averaging 1.2 and I changed my target to 60. Then with the snapped collar bone I had to miss a lot of swimming and at the last TPT swim session of the year I took my total to 52.01miles for the year over 71 sessions. So I am going to call this a success based on the original target and the step up from previous years.
I still need to sort out my turns as I am losing a body-length on every turn against the tumble-turners. That is about 8% each length on a short course swim.
Session totals
Lots of short sessions in the gym at work this year mean this number is back to 'normal'. It took a while to get moving this year but I am back up to 250 sessions for the year.
The raw number is a bit of a fudge though. As the average time of a 2012 training session is less than 70% of previous years, even with the 3 hour bike rides counted in. The short swim and gym sessions are keeping this number high but majorly cutting total training time.
1902 miles total. Big step from the 1068 of 2011, but again a fudge by trading bike miles for run miles.
Blogging
Actually I have typed parts of 33 blogs this year. I just haven't published a lot of them this time round. Some of this is changing over the holidays as I tidy them up or move them to my new 2013 blog. (http://kevinmorice2013.blogspot.co.uk).
Weight
From the crazy lows of 69kg in August 2011, I have managed to stabilise my weight again. Since July this year I have been sitting at 77kg give or take a couple (76kg post-ride today). Still nearly half a stone lighter than I probably should be, 10lbs under my "ideal" BMI. But no longer at the dangerous or freakish levels and even though I have moved it around from 75-80 through the year it has been a general trend for improvement, even when I have been getting lighter it has been through increased training load and when I have been getting heavier it has been trading flabby bits for useful muscle. I even managed to adapt my diet enough so there were no wild changes when I had to sit around doing nothing for 8 weeks with the snapped collar bone.
In general my diet this year has improved on average but with having one bad day of take-out or eating out almost weekly. My diet this may have to change again if I can get my running numbers back up. The current healthier diet does enough calories for what I am doing but won't cope with my planned training load for 2013.
Other numbers
1 broken bone, requiring 2 trips to A&E, 2 to surgery and 8 to clinic appointments. Resulting in 1 surgical intervention (eventually) to fit 1 titanium plate and 8 screws to hold together the 4 pieces.
Also 18 visits to 2 psychiatrists. Finally done with them though.
27 trips to the cinema on my new Cineworld movie pass. Some great (Pitch Perfect, Skyfall, Avengers, Dark Knight Returns), some decent (John Carter, Argo, 21 Jump Street and Magic Mike were all worth the trip) but too many of them were truly terrible (Hobbit, Prometheus, Hunger Games, Lockout, Amazing Spiderman, Bourne Legacy, Savages). Hope next year is more of the former and less of the latter.
Saturday 29 December 2012
Huntly Triathlon
So this one needs to be tidied up and published before the end of the year.
This was far and away my best race of the year, and probably my best race at least since Inverness Half Marathon back in 2011.
So breaking it down. Pre-race I was about as relaxed as I have been. The entry list was public and the while there were some people I really wanted to avoid, they were all going to be in different heats, wiht the heats spaced out by over half an hour each. There were also plenty of people to hide behind while I was setting up in transition.
First time I have used the pointy hat for a race. That get's a mention early as it changed my transition layout a little. Also having had real problems with cold toes on all my previous standard distance races I decided to ignore my own advice and left some socks in transition. I managed to get set up next to a few people I knew and was able to chat away and set up without stressing.
The usual chat about "how are you going?" was around and I had a good idea beforehand that I should be capable of a decent time. My first standard race was at Huntly in 2010 and had taken me 2hrs 49min 52. That broke down as 31:23 for the 1500m swim, 1:24:45 for the 40k bike, and 51:50 for the 10k run. I knew I wasn't running as well, but I also knew I could both swim and bike a decent amount quicker so I had decided to aim for an ambitious PB for a standard of 2hrs 45.
The swim went brilliantly. For most of the year I have been in lanes with people who have fibbed about their times, which results in a lot of overtaking and slows everyone down. This time out I was in a lane with 3 others, 2 of whom I knew from racing would go about my speed, possibly slightly faster. We were the slowest lane in our heat so we were against the wall, but we were next to a faster lane so got a slight tow off them every second length.
Also in the lane next to me were the two girls that I thought would give me the best overall races. I expected them both to get away a little on the swim, and possibly a little more on the bike, and then even in my bad running condition I would chase them down. Being in the next lane meant I could see how much progress they were making and we were almost at the finish before either of them lapped me. I was getting a nice tow off two of the guys in my lane and I was out of the water in 28:26, just a minute behind the girls, and over 3 ahead of my 2010 time.
My first transition was fairly tidy. No disasters, and worth the time to dry my feet and put the socks on.
The bike was a revelation. I expected to go faster than previously on this course but I didn't quite factor how much of a difference it would be. The first half of the course flew by and I was catching people all the way. At about the halfway point on the course it gets a bit lumpier and turns into the wind. At this point I passed the first of the girls, which was a bit of a shock. By two-thirds of the way round the bike course I had caught 5 minutes on my swim coach. I began to worry that maybe I was pushing too hard on the bike but I felt ok and was spending plenty of time on the tri-bars and turning my legs over easily enough so I decided to keep the pace up.
I came into T2 having biked 1hr 17:38. Over 7 minutes faster than 2010. The pointy hat really does work. (Although the socks, the weather and 900 extra training bike miles might also have contributed slightly). I was almost 10 minutes ahead of my 2010 time. So I went out on the run feeling fairly good. I could afford to drag myself round the 10k in anything approaching an hour and still set a PB for the course. And even dropping 5 minutes on my previous run time would still get me in under the target I had set.
The run course at Huntly is two loops. But on each loop there is also a long out and back section so you are running towards anyone up to maybe half-a-mile ahead of you. This means that on the way out you can see who is suffering and catchable, and on the way back you can see who is looking good and chasing after you. There were a lot of the former, and only one of the latter. On both laps I was picking off a lot of struggling runners, (including my other target) and the only one that was catching me was the target girl I had passed on the bike. This was a bit annoying as normally I can easily run away from her, but I was making plenty of places, and I trying to work out how fast the gap was closing and how long was left I thought I might manage to hold her off.
I was really starting to struggle by the end and was cramping badly as I tried to pick up the pace for the last mile. Annoyingly I was caught just at the last turn with less than 400m left to the finish. But I came in with a run time of 51:04, somehow 46 seconds faster than my 2010 run time.
Overall time was 2hrs 39:13. 6 minutes quicker than I had hoped for. Nearly 11 minutes faster than my 2010 time. Happiest I have been with a race for a long time.
Still some time I can make on the swim, maybe as much as 2 minutes if I can sort out my turns and there is easily 4 minutes on the run if I can actually run it instead of struggling to jog round. So next year's target is 2hrs 35. It will be 5 weeks after my half iron-man (still to be confirmed) so should fit in with my season.
This was far and away my best race of the year, and probably my best race at least since Inverness Half Marathon back in 2011.
So breaking it down. Pre-race I was about as relaxed as I have been. The entry list was public and the while there were some people I really wanted to avoid, they were all going to be in different heats, wiht the heats spaced out by over half an hour each. There were also plenty of people to hide behind while I was setting up in transition.
First time I have used the pointy hat for a race. That get's a mention early as it changed my transition layout a little. Also having had real problems with cold toes on all my previous standard distance races I decided to ignore my own advice and left some socks in transition. I managed to get set up next to a few people I knew and was able to chat away and set up without stressing.
The usual chat about "how are you going?" was around and I had a good idea beforehand that I should be capable of a decent time. My first standard race was at Huntly in 2010 and had taken me 2hrs 49min 52. That broke down as 31:23 for the 1500m swim, 1:24:45 for the 40k bike, and 51:50 for the 10k run. I knew I wasn't running as well, but I also knew I could both swim and bike a decent amount quicker so I had decided to aim for an ambitious PB for a standard of 2hrs 45.
The swim went brilliantly. For most of the year I have been in lanes with people who have fibbed about their times, which results in a lot of overtaking and slows everyone down. This time out I was in a lane with 3 others, 2 of whom I knew from racing would go about my speed, possibly slightly faster. We were the slowest lane in our heat so we were against the wall, but we were next to a faster lane so got a slight tow off them every second length.
Also in the lane next to me were the two girls that I thought would give me the best overall races. I expected them both to get away a little on the swim, and possibly a little more on the bike, and then even in my bad running condition I would chase them down. Being in the next lane meant I could see how much progress they were making and we were almost at the finish before either of them lapped me. I was getting a nice tow off two of the guys in my lane and I was out of the water in 28:26, just a minute behind the girls, and over 3 ahead of my 2010 time.
My first transition was fairly tidy. No disasters, and worth the time to dry my feet and put the socks on.
The bike was a revelation. I expected to go faster than previously on this course but I didn't quite factor how much of a difference it would be. The first half of the course flew by and I was catching people all the way. At about the halfway point on the course it gets a bit lumpier and turns into the wind. At this point I passed the first of the girls, which was a bit of a shock. By two-thirds of the way round the bike course I had caught 5 minutes on my swim coach. I began to worry that maybe I was pushing too hard on the bike but I felt ok and was spending plenty of time on the tri-bars and turning my legs over easily enough so I decided to keep the pace up.
I came into T2 having biked 1hr 17:38. Over 7 minutes faster than 2010. The pointy hat really does work. (Although the socks, the weather and 900 extra training bike miles might also have contributed slightly). I was almost 10 minutes ahead of my 2010 time. So I went out on the run feeling fairly good. I could afford to drag myself round the 10k in anything approaching an hour and still set a PB for the course. And even dropping 5 minutes on my previous run time would still get me in under the target I had set.
The run course at Huntly is two loops. But on each loop there is also a long out and back section so you are running towards anyone up to maybe half-a-mile ahead of you. This means that on the way out you can see who is suffering and catchable, and on the way back you can see who is looking good and chasing after you. There were a lot of the former, and only one of the latter. On both laps I was picking off a lot of struggling runners, (including my other target) and the only one that was catching me was the target girl I had passed on the bike. This was a bit annoying as normally I can easily run away from her, but I was making plenty of places, and I trying to work out how fast the gap was closing and how long was left I thought I might manage to hold her off.
I was really starting to struggle by the end and was cramping badly as I tried to pick up the pace for the last mile. Annoyingly I was caught just at the last turn with less than 400m left to the finish. But I came in with a run time of 51:04, somehow 46 seconds faster than my 2010 run time.
Overall time was 2hrs 39:13. 6 minutes quicker than I had hoped for. Nearly 11 minutes faster than my 2010 time. Happiest I have been with a race for a long time.
Still some time I can make on the swim, maybe as much as 2 minutes if I can sort out my turns and there is easily 4 minutes on the run if I can actually run it instead of struggling to jog round. So next year's target is 2hrs 35. It will be 5 weeks after my half iron-man (still to be confirmed) so should fit in with my season.
Friday 28 December 2012
Pins and needles, and more pins
Caution: Gruesome photos and a couple of xray's enclosed.
So I have dragged this out over a third post now.
http://kevinmorice2012.blogspot.co.uk/2012/10/big-bang.html
http://kevinmorice2012.blogspot.co.uk/2012/11/no-pictures-yet.html
So the last one leaves off with A&E at Dr Grays sending me home with some drugs to wait for a phone call. So from the saturday evening until Monday I was left waiting for them to decide if they wanted to operate or not. I eventually got fed up of waiting and called them, there answer was that they thought it would heal on it's own so go home and then pop in to the ARI fracture clinic in 4 weeks to see if it is fixed.
After 4 days on the monster drugs and the swelling going down it was obvious that something still wasn't right. I went in to ARI and they took another pair of x-rays and asked me to come back in on the Monday so they could decide if or when to operate.
So here is a photo from about a week after the accident. Some lovely bruising, and if you look closely you can see a lovely lump where the two major pieces of bone overlap.
And below is what that it looked like from the inside. In addition to the two major pieces I had what is called a butterfly fracture. This is when the two major pieces snap in a way that causes a third triangular splinter (it looks like a butterfly wing if you sketch it) to get broken out, and a fourth very small chip. Mine had the added complication that the large splinter had spun round and the very sharp end of it was pressing on some nerves in the brachial plexus.
The chip was enough to get me on the not-quite-an-emergency list for surgery. So I had to check back in to the hospital on Tuesday, 10 days after the accident. This was apparently not a major issue. Having missed the chance to do it on the first day (Thanks Dr Grays!) they felt it was better to let some of the bruising go down to give them more room to work.
Tuesday was an interesting day of filling in forms and reading books but I was then sent home as a car crash had skipped a few people onto the really-is-an-emergency list and they stole my theatre and surgeons. So I was set home till the Thursday. Second time lucky though and they did manage to fit me in late on the Thursday.
The knockout drugs for surgery these days are GOOOD!! From asking if I was ready to me being asleep was about 2 seconds. And the next thing I remember was waking up, feeling a bit stiff and pained but generally ok. And obviously my first thought was to take a picture for facebook:
It was under the dressing for 10 days so here is the first shot of it when I had to change the dressing. No stitches on the outside, and no sign of stitching so I don/t think it was the disolvable ones. My guess is that it was superglued and butterflied.
So I have dragged this out over a third post now.
http://kevinmorice2012.blogspot.co.uk/2012/10/big-bang.html
http://kevinmorice2012.blogspot.co.uk/2012/11/no-pictures-yet.html
So the last one leaves off with A&E at Dr Grays sending me home with some drugs to wait for a phone call. So from the saturday evening until Monday I was left waiting for them to decide if they wanted to operate or not. I eventually got fed up of waiting and called them, there answer was that they thought it would heal on it's own so go home and then pop in to the ARI fracture clinic in 4 weeks to see if it is fixed.
After 4 days on the monster drugs and the swelling going down it was obvious that something still wasn't right. I went in to ARI and they took another pair of x-rays and asked me to come back in on the Monday so they could decide if or when to operate.
So here is a photo from about a week after the accident. Some lovely bruising, and if you look closely you can see a lovely lump where the two major pieces of bone overlap.
And below is what that it looked like from the inside. In addition to the two major pieces I had what is called a butterfly fracture. This is when the two major pieces snap in a way that causes a third triangular splinter (it looks like a butterfly wing if you sketch it) to get broken out, and a fourth very small chip. Mine had the added complication that the large splinter had spun round and the very sharp end of it was pressing on some nerves in the brachial plexus.
The chip was enough to get me on the not-quite-an-emergency list for surgery. So I had to check back in to the hospital on Tuesday, 10 days after the accident. This was apparently not a major issue. Having missed the chance to do it on the first day (Thanks Dr Grays!) they felt it was better to let some of the bruising go down to give them more room to work.
Tuesday was an interesting day of filling in forms and reading books but I was then sent home as a car crash had skipped a few people onto the really-is-an-emergency list and they stole my theatre and surgeons. So I was set home till the Thursday. Second time lucky though and they did manage to fit me in late on the Thursday.
The knockout drugs for surgery these days are GOOOD!! From asking if I was ready to me being asleep was about 2 seconds. And the next thing I remember was waking up, feeling a bit stiff and pained but generally ok. And obviously my first thought was to take a picture for facebook:
They kept me pretty heavily drugged through the night but I was able to get up and dress myself on friday morning. They let me have breakfast and lunch. Sent me for some x-rays of the plate (below) and then let me out.
It was under the dressing for 10 days so here is the first shot of it when I had to change the dressing. No stitches on the outside, and no sign of stitching so I don/t think it was the disolvable ones. My guess is that it was superglued and butterflied.
So from there I have been in rehab, with loads of exciting physio.
Below is the latest x-ray. It is from December 3rd. It is a slightly different angle (serenity view for any medics in the audience) from the previous x-rays, so you can see the shape of the pin and the remaining smaller chip is more obvious.
So that's what the outside looks like by Xmas. The bruising is all cleared up and the scar is still fading, and if you know what you are looking for you can see the plate. I can also feel the screw heads if I poke around it. Still aches a bit but not enough to need painkillers. Hopefully a final clinic appointment in January for it.
Sunday 23 December 2012
A Beautiful Mind
What a strange film. I have put off watching it for a decade, for a number of spurious reasons. I don't really like Russell Crowe, I think Paul Bettany is either brilliant or terrible but never anything in between, Jennifer Connelly can't appear on a screen near me without me wondering when the Henson puppets are coming, Ed Harris is great in everything but criminally under-used... Anyway, it is sitting at number 198 in the IMDB top-250 films of all time. And I have seen 171 of the others so I wanted to cross it off the list.
I am not Schizophrenic or hallucinatory. So a lot of the movie is not directly comparable. But in order to make their movie a bit more palatable they also give Nash a lot of Asperger's symptoms which are very similar to what I have, although much like Big Bang Theory do with Sheldon they are somewhat amplified to make them more filmable.
I could argue about the mistakes they make when trying to explain game theory and Nash equilibrium. I can even explain the mistakes in a concise enough way that it fits into this post. But I can also see why took the shortcuts to squeeze it into a single scene I their movie. And I can't see anyone reading this and caring about the maths.
But back to the point. Some of the points of the film are very reminiscent of what I have been through the last 2 years. So I want to talk about them.
The pills are very much as portrayed. They do fuck up how you function to such an extreme degree that even basic logic processing becomes difficult. And cutting out the higher end functionality of someone smart is distressing in itself, more so than the symptoms of the illness. Not comparing myself to Nash but I am smarter than the average bear, and the effect the pills had on that, and on my memory, was terrifying.
"I find that polishing my interactions in order to make them sociable requires a tremendous effort. I have a tendency to expedite information flow by being direct. Often I don't get a good result. " I could have said that. Although I would probably have been more direct about it. Nash's solution in the film is to find people who can deal with his directness and discard others. This used to be my approach. It is surprisingly effective.
His eventual solution to his mental problems, having had everyone else push him to try their solution, is to discard everyone else's failed techniques and to tackle those problems in his own way. Not with the drugs or the therapy or any of the recommended techniques. He simply chooses to be a different person and then applies his own mind to that purpose.
So, what should have been a couple of paragraphs seems to have turned into a full-blown post and has even dragged me away from the one I intended to finish and hit "publish" on this morning. But it has brought me to my point.
I decided a while ago that I like who I used to be. And to be honest I don't like a lot of the person I have had to live in for the last 17 months, but I have continued to tolerate him in order to survive in my current situation. But I am past done with him so I am going to be the old me again. This is going to suck for some of you because a lot of people didn't like the original me.
I am going to say the things I think, without tying myself in knots trying to figure out if the listener will like them or not. Anyone who can't deal with that, it is their problem. And if you think that is selfish then; tough, it probably is. But I have to live with me and you don't. And I am done living every minute with a person I don't really like.
I am not Schizophrenic or hallucinatory. So a lot of the movie is not directly comparable. But in order to make their movie a bit more palatable they also give Nash a lot of Asperger's symptoms which are very similar to what I have, although much like Big Bang Theory do with Sheldon they are somewhat amplified to make them more filmable.
I could argue about the mistakes they make when trying to explain game theory and Nash equilibrium. I can even explain the mistakes in a concise enough way that it fits into this post. But I can also see why took the shortcuts to squeeze it into a single scene I their movie. And I can't see anyone reading this and caring about the maths.
But back to the point. Some of the points of the film are very reminiscent of what I have been through the last 2 years. So I want to talk about them.
The pills are very much as portrayed. They do fuck up how you function to such an extreme degree that even basic logic processing becomes difficult. And cutting out the higher end functionality of someone smart is distressing in itself, more so than the symptoms of the illness. Not comparing myself to Nash but I am smarter than the average bear, and the effect the pills had on that, and on my memory, was terrifying.
"I find that polishing my interactions in order to make them sociable requires a tremendous effort. I have a tendency to expedite information flow by being direct. Often I don't get a good result. " I could have said that. Although I would probably have been more direct about it. Nash's solution in the film is to find people who can deal with his directness and discard others. This used to be my approach. It is surprisingly effective.
His eventual solution to his mental problems, having had everyone else push him to try their solution, is to discard everyone else's failed techniques and to tackle those problems in his own way. Not with the drugs or the therapy or any of the recommended techniques. He simply chooses to be a different person and then applies his own mind to that purpose.
So, what should have been a couple of paragraphs seems to have turned into a full-blown post and has even dragged me away from the one I intended to finish and hit "publish" on this morning. But it has brought me to my point.
I decided a while ago that I like who I used to be. And to be honest I don't like a lot of the person I have had to live in for the last 17 months, but I have continued to tolerate him in order to survive in my current situation. But I am past done with him so I am going to be the old me again. This is going to suck for some of you because a lot of people didn't like the original me.
I am going to say the things I think, without tying myself in knots trying to figure out if the listener will like them or not. Anyone who can't deal with that, it is their problem. And if you think that is selfish then; tough, it probably is. But I have to live with me and you don't. And I am done living every minute with a person I don't really like.
Sunday 25 November 2012
No pictures yet
So I left off the previous crash blog when I was lying in a ditch.
I had a bit of a chat with the guy whose car I hit, then I called my mum and told her I had a wee bump and was waiting for the ambulance. The driver was obviously in a bit of shock, but he seemed happy enough that I hadn't destroyed his car so after checking I was alive and that the marshalls had sorted out an ambulance he headed off.
The ambulance took a bit longer to arrive than I would have liked. I knew it was only a couple of miles away as I had passed it twice on previous laps. Turns out they were busy treating another rider who had had a self-induced argument with the tarmac and lost a bit of skin.
Once they did arrive the ambulance crew were very friendly and quickly had me up out of the ditch and had my arm slung and strapped me into the back of the ambulance. Having confirmed that the marshalls would take care of my bike they gave myself and the skinned bloke a lift back to transition. This is the point that I made my big mistake. Those of you who read my big bang post will no doubt be thinking that we are now half an hour on from the big mistake, but really I don't think any of the little things that stacked up to cause the crash were a lot of small mistakes that anyone else wouldn't make, it just happened that I stacked them all up in quick succession.
In future the rule I will be staying with is "Do not get out of the ambulance!". The crew were still being friendly and they again offered me some gas and air, which I manfully rejected (small mistake). They then asked if I wanted to be taken to Raigmore, or wanted to get out. Too much testosterone and Raigmore being in the wrong direction coupled to wanting to rescue my clothes from transition and my swimming stuff from the locker in the pool, led me to get out of the ambulance. I reasoned it would be easier to get seen in Elgin than 60 miles from anyone.
I thanked them for their time and went to round up my clothes and transition gear and wait for my parents to come and pick me up. I managed to collect all my gear and with a little help got my bike shoes changed for my trainers. Managed to chat to about half the field while I was waiting and arrange with the race organiser to get my bike back to Aberdeen. Then my parents collected me and my car and took me back to Elgin and my mum took me to A&E at Dr Grays.
So this is where the mistake comes back to bite. Walk-ins to A&E are not treated the same way as someone who arrives in an ambulance. If I had come in with the ambulance I would have been considered as a road traffic accident, triaged, x-rayed and probably into surgery within an hour or so. Instead I got asked to take a seat. Which I did. Two hours of X-Factor later, I got seen by a very junior doctor. I got handed some painkillers and they took an x-ray. Then they sent me home and told me they would call me on the Monday.
And now I have managed to write all of this and still not get to the pictures.
Sunday 28 October 2012
Alford Novice Triathlon
So I should be posting about getting my collar bone fixed, but that needs writing from scratch while this is one of several that has been sitting in draft waiting for me to click the publish button for a while.
Alford Novice is a very short race. In all honesty I shouldn't have been racing it, for a couple of reasons. It was organised by Threepeaks Triathletes so I should really have been helping out with organising, or marshalling, or something similarly useful. Also it is meant for beginners and I am now 3 years in so it's hard to justify competing in such a short race. But, it is one of the few races that I did last year that would give me a fair comparison of what shape I was in, so I signed up to race and did a bit of helping out afterwards.
I was hoping to swim under 7 minutes for the first time. It is a short pool, which means lots of turns. That noramlly works well for me. Also the previous year I had a good lane draw with three others who were 5-15 secs quicker than me so I got a nice tow. This year I didn't get anyone to draft behind. The other two in my lane both being juniors. One of them was slightly slower than me, but not enough to take a lap, and the other one quickly resorted to backstroke and I caught and overtook him twice.
This was not the first time I have been given a lane with a backstroker. (Wasn't even the first time this season, nor the last). It was the first time that I have been older than the combined ages of everyone else in my lane. OK, there were only two of them, but scarily enough you could probably have added a third and I would still have been older than their total.
Fortunately enough though they were both steady swimmers at a close enough level to me so there was minimal overtaking required and I was out of the water in a decent time. Just outside 7minutes including the short section to the timing mats. I figured I was about 6th or 7th out of the pool.
I had hoped (ok, expected) to be out of the pool in front of an old running friend of mine but arrived in transition to find him already putting his shoes on. He was faffing about a bit though and despite stopping again after realising I forgot my race belt and number I managed a pretty smooth change and was out in front of him.
The bike course at Alford is three short loops, with a gentle climb round the first half and a gentle downhill on the way back. My biking is definitely a big step up from last year. Rather than just counting how many people pass me on the bike I do make places up. My friend was not one of those places. He was past me on the first rise and disappeared into the distance. A few others though, were not so lucky. I passed 4 comfortably on the downhill sections, and because the lap ends on a downhill the cat and mouse game I was playing with a 5th left me leading him going into second transition.
My second transition was as slick as the first one and I figured I was out with only my friend and one other from my heat in front of me.
The over-abundance of marshalls meant there was no point on the course that I was out of sight of them. I am pretty sure this was the most marshalled race I have ever done. And since I knew so many of them this was the first race in over a year that I was actually able to race properly without any sign of panic attack.
There were plenty of athletes from previous heats still out on the run course and I was overtaking people on the 3-lap run course. I caught the second guy out of my heat, leaving only my friend out in front. But he had half a lap on me from his 3minute faster bike section, and the run was always going to suit him better than me so I was chasing a lost cause trying to make any headway against him. With all the marshalls though I was managing to run properly and I only lost 30seconds to him on the run. I ended up in the top-20 for the first time this year. 8th in my age-group was also the highest I have placed for nearly 2 years.
Alford Novice is a very short race. In all honesty I shouldn't have been racing it, for a couple of reasons. It was organised by Threepeaks Triathletes so I should really have been helping out with organising, or marshalling, or something similarly useful. Also it is meant for beginners and I am now 3 years in so it's hard to justify competing in such a short race. But, it is one of the few races that I did last year that would give me a fair comparison of what shape I was in, so I signed up to race and did a bit of helping out afterwards.
I was hoping to swim under 7 minutes for the first time. It is a short pool, which means lots of turns. That noramlly works well for me. Also the previous year I had a good lane draw with three others who were 5-15 secs quicker than me so I got a nice tow. This year I didn't get anyone to draft behind. The other two in my lane both being juniors. One of them was slightly slower than me, but not enough to take a lap, and the other one quickly resorted to backstroke and I caught and overtook him twice.
This was not the first time I have been given a lane with a backstroker. (Wasn't even the first time this season, nor the last). It was the first time that I have been older than the combined ages of everyone else in my lane. OK, there were only two of them, but scarily enough you could probably have added a third and I would still have been older than their total.
Fortunately enough though they were both steady swimmers at a close enough level to me so there was minimal overtaking required and I was out of the water in a decent time. Just outside 7minutes including the short section to the timing mats. I figured I was about 6th or 7th out of the pool.
I had hoped (ok, expected) to be out of the pool in front of an old running friend of mine but arrived in transition to find him already putting his shoes on. He was faffing about a bit though and despite stopping again after realising I forgot my race belt and number I managed a pretty smooth change and was out in front of him.
The bike course at Alford is three short loops, with a gentle climb round the first half and a gentle downhill on the way back. My biking is definitely a big step up from last year. Rather than just counting how many people pass me on the bike I do make places up. My friend was not one of those places. He was past me on the first rise and disappeared into the distance. A few others though, were not so lucky. I passed 4 comfortably on the downhill sections, and because the lap ends on a downhill the cat and mouse game I was playing with a 5th left me leading him going into second transition.
My second transition was as slick as the first one and I figured I was out with only my friend and one other from my heat in front of me.
The over-abundance of marshalls meant there was no point on the course that I was out of sight of them. I am pretty sure this was the most marshalled race I have ever done. And since I knew so many of them this was the first race in over a year that I was actually able to race properly without any sign of panic attack.
There were plenty of athletes from previous heats still out on the run course and I was overtaking people on the 3-lap run course. I caught the second guy out of my heat, leaving only my friend out in front. But he had half a lap on me from his 3minute faster bike section, and the run was always going to suit him better than me so I was chasing a lost cause trying to make any headway against him. With all the marshalls though I was managing to run properly and I only lost 30seconds to him on the run. I ended up in the top-20 for the first time this year. 8th in my age-group was also the highest I have placed for nearly 2 years.
Wednesday 24 October 2012
Big Bang
I wrote this the day after, then came back to hit publish and realised that it didnt make too much sense, probably because of the volume of painkillers I was on at that point. Anyway, I have run through it now and done a bit of an edit but it might still have some issues with past and present tense and the odd bit of drug-addled complexity that I have misssed:
I have been very lazy about writing here. I have a few race reports to write at least, especially after how well my last few races of this season were going. I am going to take them in reverse order.
So that brings me back to the blog title and the reason that I suddenly have plenty of spare time to catch up. Last race of my season (although it wasn't meant to be) was Nairn triathlon. Decent event, but it is a bit of a hassle going to Nairn and registering by 9:30 for a heat that wasn't due till 1:20. The timetable was a bit over-generous for warming up and plenty of competitors had guessed their swim times wide of the mark so everything was getting well ahead of schedule. But lack of a tannoy system meant several people were turning up as originally scheduled for the later heats, while the rest of us who were watching them get ahead of schedule waited impatiently for them.
The bike course wasn't the best. Right at the start it had a couple of stop junctions and these were followed up by a set of red traffic lights. If I had known I was getting a minute's rest this early in the bike I might have swum harder. Once out of town and into the country it improved slightly but it was too twisty and enclosed for such a fast flat course. Too many blind or obscured corners, and no passing places for the scarce, but impatient, traffic. During the second of three bike laps there was a sharp rain shower which dampened the roads, but it went away quickly so didn't make any major difference to the pace.
So this would be the point where things went somewhat awry. Turning on to lap 3 meant taking a left hander into a T-junction. There are some trees obscuring the view of the traffic after the turn (see link to streetview) but two other cyclists in front of me had clear runs at the corner so I took quite an aggressive line into the corner expecting to have plenty of road after the turn to keep my speed.
http://goo.gl/maps/ZBF3o
The lap counter marshalls were at this point, so the corner had three marshalls stationed on it. The road was a bit greasy from the rain shower so I was up off the tri bars slightly earlier than the previous lap in order to make the turn. I was already on the brakes for the turn when I spotted the car pulling up to the junction. I braked a bit harder to try and take the bend completely on the inside rather than crossing onto his side, and between the high speed, hard braking, tight turn, greasy roads, new brakes and new tyres I locked the back wheel.
The next quarter of a second or so was fairly memorable.
The bike took a big kick and the tail came out to the right into a skid. The wet road and slick tyres between them decided that the basic physical laws of friction should no longer apply to them. So travelling sideways at probably somewhere around 15 miles an hour I side-swiped the car. There was a big bang as my shoulder connected with the front windscreen pillar and my hip took out his wing mirror. In hindsight I think my hand hit the door bending the brake levers around slightly, the chain popped off the big ring and I was very lucky that my head didn't hit anything.
I hopped of the bike and managed to walk round for a few seconds while I tried catch my breath and to decide how serious a bump it was. Having decided I was still able to walk I was quite convinced that the bang must have been something on the car or bike getting dented, but a quick look showed them both to be intact. Most of my right side was aching by this point and I was struggling to breathe so I called at the marshalls to get the ambulance while I had a nice lie down in the roadside ditch.
The driver did check I was alive, but he didn't hang around much after that. Not blaming him. He was clearly in shock that some idiot had run into him. And in terms of driving before the accident he didn't do anything wrong to cause it. But despite the ambulance being sited on the course a couple of miles away he was gone by the time it arrived.
I had a bit of a feel around my shoulder, thinking it was probably dislocated. The big lump sticking out of it changed that diagnosis as it became obvious that I had snapped my collar bone. So I had a gentle lie back in the grass and waited for the ambulance while I watched the rest of the field flash past on their way to the finish.
I am going to do a separate blog covering the steps from lying in the ditch to where I am now. But it might contain some fairly gruesome pictures and will probably come with a warning in the intro for those without a stomach for bruises, scars and xrays.
I have been very lazy about writing here. I have a few race reports to write at least, especially after how well my last few races of this season were going. I am going to take them in reverse order.
So that brings me back to the blog title and the reason that I suddenly have plenty of spare time to catch up. Last race of my season (although it wasn't meant to be) was Nairn triathlon. Decent event, but it is a bit of a hassle going to Nairn and registering by 9:30 for a heat that wasn't due till 1:20. The timetable was a bit over-generous for warming up and plenty of competitors had guessed their swim times wide of the mark so everything was getting well ahead of schedule. But lack of a tannoy system meant several people were turning up as originally scheduled for the later heats, while the rest of us who were watching them get ahead of schedule waited impatiently for them.
The bike course wasn't the best. Right at the start it had a couple of stop junctions and these were followed up by a set of red traffic lights. If I had known I was getting a minute's rest this early in the bike I might have swum harder. Once out of town and into the country it improved slightly but it was too twisty and enclosed for such a fast flat course. Too many blind or obscured corners, and no passing places for the scarce, but impatient, traffic. During the second of three bike laps there was a sharp rain shower which dampened the roads, but it went away quickly so didn't make any major difference to the pace.
So this would be the point where things went somewhat awry. Turning on to lap 3 meant taking a left hander into a T-junction. There are some trees obscuring the view of the traffic after the turn (see link to streetview) but two other cyclists in front of me had clear runs at the corner so I took quite an aggressive line into the corner expecting to have plenty of road after the turn to keep my speed.
http://goo.gl/maps/ZBF3o
The lap counter marshalls were at this point, so the corner had three marshalls stationed on it. The road was a bit greasy from the rain shower so I was up off the tri bars slightly earlier than the previous lap in order to make the turn. I was already on the brakes for the turn when I spotted the car pulling up to the junction. I braked a bit harder to try and take the bend completely on the inside rather than crossing onto his side, and between the high speed, hard braking, tight turn, greasy roads, new brakes and new tyres I locked the back wheel.
The next quarter of a second or so was fairly memorable.
The bike took a big kick and the tail came out to the right into a skid. The wet road and slick tyres between them decided that the basic physical laws of friction should no longer apply to them. So travelling sideways at probably somewhere around 15 miles an hour I side-swiped the car. There was a big bang as my shoulder connected with the front windscreen pillar and my hip took out his wing mirror. In hindsight I think my hand hit the door bending the brake levers around slightly, the chain popped off the big ring and I was very lucky that my head didn't hit anything.
I hopped of the bike and managed to walk round for a few seconds while I tried catch my breath and to decide how serious a bump it was. Having decided I was still able to walk I was quite convinced that the bang must have been something on the car or bike getting dented, but a quick look showed them both to be intact. Most of my right side was aching by this point and I was struggling to breathe so I called at the marshalls to get the ambulance while I had a nice lie down in the roadside ditch.
The driver did check I was alive, but he didn't hang around much after that. Not blaming him. He was clearly in shock that some idiot had run into him. And in terms of driving before the accident he didn't do anything wrong to cause it. But despite the ambulance being sited on the course a couple of miles away he was gone by the time it arrived.
I had a bit of a feel around my shoulder, thinking it was probably dislocated. The big lump sticking out of it changed that diagnosis as it became obvious that I had snapped my collar bone. So I had a gentle lie back in the grass and waited for the ambulance while I watched the rest of the field flash past on their way to the finish.
I am going to do a separate blog covering the steps from lying in the ditch to where I am now. But it might contain some fairly gruesome pictures and will probably come with a warning in the intro for those without a stomach for bruises, scars and xrays.
Wednesday 15 August 2012
Olympics withdrawal
Olympic withdrawal is really kicking in now. Tuesday was a rest from training today. After racing Sunday and then going to TPT run and swim sessions on Monday it wasn't worth skipping the rest even though I was ridiculously bored.
Today, I went out to Knockburn for a jog and a swim. On one hand it was good that I managed to 'run' properly on my own, on the other hand it was slightly frustrating in that I managed to comfortably jog round a slightly longer and much hillier course than Saturday in exactly the same time for much less effort.
Then I did a 3 lap swim. I think it is the first time I have done 3 laps, certainly the first time this year. Again frustrating to go faster pace than Sunday's race, but at least there are a bunch of sensible reasons to explain swimming slightly faster. Despite being over twice the distance there is no stopping for turns but no benefit of kicking off turns. The much bigger factor though is that the wetsuit makes a huge difference that more than cancels out being in a race, and the additional distance doesn't really matter, for some reason cranking up swimming distance doesn't seem to have any major effect on my pace. My swim speed is still more limited by technique than by strength or fitness.
Sunday 12 August 2012
End of the Olympics
It has been 6 weeks since I have been on here. The first of those were just cos I had nothing to say that week, and a couple were because it was a year since I started here, and the way I was feeling it seemed better not to go over things again and then the Olympics has come along and distracted me for the last few.
So I didn't do a race report about Inverurie triathlon. Which I probably should have as it was a half decent race.
And I am not going to do much of a race report about today's Westhill triathlon either. It was generally a bit crap. Didn't swim well, had problems with my chip that meant I had to stop and take it off, and even without that interruption I was on a slow swim time anyway. Then I faffed about for a while in T1 putting my chip back on. Then my helmet didnt fit (Cheers Emma) biked ok for the first half with the bike running silently since I serviced it and relubed the chain (Thanks again Colin) and then just seemed to switch off and struggled from there. T2 was a disaster, after 5 attempts to put my shoes on I eventually had to sit on the ground to get them on. The run was at least as dire. 20:48 for a 4.2km course. Even with how little running I have done in the last year I should still be running nearly 5 minutes under that.
In between races I have been training almost a sensible amount. Still not running properly, or enough, but at least managing to run a bit. Road biking plenty and longer, swimming plenty and faster whenever it isnt a race. Not had the mountain bike out at all, which I should probably change while it is weather I don't hate.
Tomorrow I have to figure out what to do with all the extra time that I have been using to watch the Olympics. I guess the other 80 TV channels will probably come back into use. Started early with that as the Closing ceremony started badly and I turned over for a bit of Top Gun instead.
So I didn't do a race report about Inverurie triathlon. Which I probably should have as it was a half decent race.
And I am not going to do much of a race report about today's Westhill triathlon either. It was generally a bit crap. Didn't swim well, had problems with my chip that meant I had to stop and take it off, and even without that interruption I was on a slow swim time anyway. Then I faffed about for a while in T1 putting my chip back on. Then my helmet didnt fit (Cheers Emma) biked ok for the first half with the bike running silently since I serviced it and relubed the chain (Thanks again Colin) and then just seemed to switch off and struggled from there. T2 was a disaster, after 5 attempts to put my shoes on I eventually had to sit on the ground to get them on. The run was at least as dire. 20:48 for a 4.2km course. Even with how little running I have done in the last year I should still be running nearly 5 minutes under that.
In between races I have been training almost a sensible amount. Still not running properly, or enough, but at least managing to run a bit. Road biking plenty and longer, swimming plenty and faster whenever it isnt a race. Not had the mountain bike out at all, which I should probably change while it is weather I don't hate.
Tomorrow I have to figure out what to do with all the extra time that I have been using to watch the Olympics. I guess the other 80 TV channels will probably come back into use. Started early with that as the Closing ceremony started badly and I turned over for a bit of Top Gun instead.
Saturday 30 June 2012
Mountain biking and first sportive
Double header last weekend, with Forres triathlon on the Saturday and a the Whisky Trail Sportive on the Sunday.
Forres went a lot better than I expected, despite being a grey and showery day. I coped fine with setting up and I even managed a trip to the supermarket on my own in the morning. First time in over a year.
My swim wasn't great. I had hoped to get under 7mins, but finished at 7:24. That is the second race in a row that I have clocked a swim slower than I would have done at the same time last year, but can't really explain why as I am definitely swimming better and faster in training.
This was the first time I have raced on the mountain bike and it went better than expected. It wasn't very mountainous on the whole, so was by far the fastest I have averaged on that bike. Caught up a few places, which was a strange occurrence for me as I normally just count people flooding past on the bike legs. My second transition was terrible. The insoles in my running shoes moved and I had to take both of them off again, and still ended up with a big wrinkle in one of them the second time. Transitions are normally a good section for me so it was annoying to throw away so much time on something so minor.
For the run I should have gone about 4 minutes quicker, but I did at least jog/run all of it this time. At one point I did get up onto the shoulder of third place, but with half a mile to go he pushed on and I couldn't go with him.
Happy to finish 4th Senior though. Much higher than I thought I would be and nearly makes up for finishing as last Senior at Knockburn.
On Sunday morning the weather was even less pleasant, and the idea of biking my first time bike-only race, a 40-mile sportive wasn't really appealling. It was stupid o'clock in the morning though so I managed to get up and moving before my brain got involved and convinced me that it was a poor idea.
Fortunately my two friends turned up and the rain never got worse than showery. We started off with a minor detour but quickly settled onto the right route and into a good pace. Alternating turns at the front and occassional slower, chattier sections. We were still averaging over 16mph for 40miles and 1000ft of climbing in under 2 and a half hours.
40miles seems like a lot, especially having never been past 27 before, but we were moving along nicely so the time and miles went fairly quickly.
So apparently since I didn't react to the posting of my mobile number all over the internet and the resulting string of rude messages, we are back to attempts to hack into my online accounts. So another round of password changes and another page into a folder that is now over an inch thick. I do hope you are enjoying yourselves. And thanks for refreshing my drive to ensure that I get some justice for the last year.
Forres went a lot better than I expected, despite being a grey and showery day. I coped fine with setting up and I even managed a trip to the supermarket on my own in the morning. First time in over a year.
My swim wasn't great. I had hoped to get under 7mins, but finished at 7:24. That is the second race in a row that I have clocked a swim slower than I would have done at the same time last year, but can't really explain why as I am definitely swimming better and faster in training.
This was the first time I have raced on the mountain bike and it went better than expected. It wasn't very mountainous on the whole, so was by far the fastest I have averaged on that bike. Caught up a few places, which was a strange occurrence for me as I normally just count people flooding past on the bike legs. My second transition was terrible. The insoles in my running shoes moved and I had to take both of them off again, and still ended up with a big wrinkle in one of them the second time. Transitions are normally a good section for me so it was annoying to throw away so much time on something so minor.
For the run I should have gone about 4 minutes quicker, but I did at least jog/run all of it this time. At one point I did get up onto the shoulder of third place, but with half a mile to go he pushed on and I couldn't go with him.
Happy to finish 4th Senior though. Much higher than I thought I would be and nearly makes up for finishing as last Senior at Knockburn.
On Sunday morning the weather was even less pleasant, and the idea of biking my first time bike-only race, a 40-mile sportive wasn't really appealling. It was stupid o'clock in the morning though so I managed to get up and moving before my brain got involved and convinced me that it was a poor idea.
Fortunately my two friends turned up and the rain never got worse than showery. We started off with a minor detour but quickly settled onto the right route and into a good pace. Alternating turns at the front and occassional slower, chattier sections. We were still averaging over 16mph for 40miles and 1000ft of climbing in under 2 and a half hours.
40miles seems like a lot, especially having never been past 27 before, but we were moving along nicely so the time and miles went fairly quickly.
So apparently since I didn't react to the posting of my mobile number all over the internet and the resulting string of rude messages, we are back to attempts to hack into my online accounts. So another round of password changes and another page into a folder that is now over an inch thick. I do hope you are enjoying yourselves. And thanks for refreshing my drive to ensure that I get some justice for the last year.
Saturday 16 June 2012
Knockburn triathlon
Once again I am a week late on a race review. And once again that is because there isn't much worth talking about.
Pre-race was good. I managed to get there and get set up. I coped with the crowds and the race briefing much better.
The swim was a bit rougher than last year. One gent in a red hat and a 2XU suit needs to work on his sighting though as he was weaving around in front and alongside me several times including dishing me out a couple of punches and a kick in the face. Was quite pleasing that he eventually wandered of towards the middle of the loch on the home straight, and last I saw of him was the kayak marshall poking him with a paddle. I was out of the water a minute down on last year. Even now that the full results are out I can't figure out if that was a decent swim or not. A lot of people were 2-3minutes slower than previous years and some much stronger swimmers were still in transition as I arrived, but similarly some swimmers were 2 minutes faster than they went last year, and I was still about half way down the field, but the field was much smaller, and it looks to have been a higher average quality, but then I should have improved enough to be faster, ....
And that was pretty much the last point at which I have any doubt about whether it was a good day or not. The bike was a struggle right from the off and it was pretty much just a case of counting people as they went past and trying to decide how long I could put up with the painfully numb toes before I would have to give it up. Annoyingly with about 2 miles to go I started gaining on someone I knew, who had passed me on the second lap but never really opened a big enough gap. That gave me enough incentive to keep pedalling and even to go out on the run. I had decided not to run somewhere on lap 2 but changed my mind as I caught him coming up the final climb. In hindsight that was not a good change.
The first half mile of the run I can comfortably claim was a jog. It took all of that and more to thaw out my toes, and I thought this would then allow me to make some inroads into a large group that were just ahead of me while staying ahead of the few dispersed individuals behind me. Those thoughts lasted about another 200 yards. I was just settling in to a comfortable jog and gaining on the group and then I was walking. Not by an conscious decision, not because of any pain or injury, not for any reason I have yet been able to fathom. Some part of me decided it had had enough, and no amount of arguing with myself, of reminding myself that I was easily fit enough, of looking over my shoulder to remind myself there were still people to beat, or any of the other things I tried for the remaining 5 miles made any sort of difference. In a very similar jog a few steps / walk the next 50 style that I had for sections of my marathon I still managed to keep moving forward and get round the course. Setting in the process my slowest ever 10k(not even allowing for the shortness of the course). 58 minutes, 12 minutes slower than last year, 8 slower than I jogged round the same route as a warm-up last July.
From there it was a challenge to pack my things and go home without giving in to the panic attack that was nibbling at the edges of me. I know some people spoke to me after the race but I can't for the life of me remember who they were, or what was said. I am fairly confident that it wouldn't have been pleasant.
It was too early in the season, and too early for me especially, to do a standard distance race so close to home. I am physically fit enough, but not mentally ready, and not race fit. So my solution is to go to the opposite extreme and do a super-sprint, 80 miles away next weekend. I went through today to check out the course with a few others. It is not very mountainous for a mountain bike route and the run is about as flat as I could hope for after last week.
Pre-race was good. I managed to get there and get set up. I coped with the crowds and the race briefing much better.
The swim was a bit rougher than last year. One gent in a red hat and a 2XU suit needs to work on his sighting though as he was weaving around in front and alongside me several times including dishing me out a couple of punches and a kick in the face. Was quite pleasing that he eventually wandered of towards the middle of the loch on the home straight, and last I saw of him was the kayak marshall poking him with a paddle. I was out of the water a minute down on last year. Even now that the full results are out I can't figure out if that was a decent swim or not. A lot of people were 2-3minutes slower than previous years and some much stronger swimmers were still in transition as I arrived, but similarly some swimmers were 2 minutes faster than they went last year, and I was still about half way down the field, but the field was much smaller, and it looks to have been a higher average quality, but then I should have improved enough to be faster, ....
And that was pretty much the last point at which I have any doubt about whether it was a good day or not. The bike was a struggle right from the off and it was pretty much just a case of counting people as they went past and trying to decide how long I could put up with the painfully numb toes before I would have to give it up. Annoyingly with about 2 miles to go I started gaining on someone I knew, who had passed me on the second lap but never really opened a big enough gap. That gave me enough incentive to keep pedalling and even to go out on the run. I had decided not to run somewhere on lap 2 but changed my mind as I caught him coming up the final climb. In hindsight that was not a good change.
The first half mile of the run I can comfortably claim was a jog. It took all of that and more to thaw out my toes, and I thought this would then allow me to make some inroads into a large group that were just ahead of me while staying ahead of the few dispersed individuals behind me. Those thoughts lasted about another 200 yards. I was just settling in to a comfortable jog and gaining on the group and then I was walking. Not by an conscious decision, not because of any pain or injury, not for any reason I have yet been able to fathom. Some part of me decided it had had enough, and no amount of arguing with myself, of reminding myself that I was easily fit enough, of looking over my shoulder to remind myself there were still people to beat, or any of the other things I tried for the remaining 5 miles made any sort of difference. In a very similar jog a few steps / walk the next 50 style that I had for sections of my marathon I still managed to keep moving forward and get round the course. Setting in the process my slowest ever 10k(not even allowing for the shortness of the course). 58 minutes, 12 minutes slower than last year, 8 slower than I jogged round the same route as a warm-up last July.
From there it was a challenge to pack my things and go home without giving in to the panic attack that was nibbling at the edges of me. I know some people spoke to me after the race but I can't for the life of me remember who they were, or what was said. I am fairly confident that it wouldn't have been pleasant.
It was too early in the season, and too early for me especially, to do a standard distance race so close to home. I am physically fit enough, but not mentally ready, and not race fit. So my solution is to go to the opposite extreme and do a super-sprint, 80 miles away next weekend. I went through today to check out the course with a few others. It is not very mountainous for a mountain bike route and the run is about as flat as I could hope for after last week.
Saturday 2 June 2012
Dumb, Dumb, Dumb, Dumb, Dumb, Dumb, Dumb, Dumb, Dumb, Dumb, FLASH, AAAAAAHHH
I was going to use a Ming the Merciless quote for the title but my legs felt that re-interpreting the theme tune was more appropriate. I was warned in advance that the long 13-mile run was a cruel and evil course and I decided that after a 7-mile run going on the long 30-mile bike would be too ambitious, so I restricted myself to doing the short-short race. Short run was 7 miles, short bike was 17.
Even the short run is cruel. It starts off ok on a nice quiet, winding country road with a bit of a gentle climb. But then it gets rapidly harder when you are turned into a field and have to run through fresh cut grass along the side of a hill tilted at 30 degrees right to left. That goes to a rutted farm track, then another section of road, then a nasty little wooden bridge. All this was already making it hard to get into a proper running rhythm but this was before the climbs and the forest tracks. Then it turns down hill and you have the same combination in reverse. With the added option of a 50-yard shortcut if you want to cut through the burn instead of the bridge (pass!).
I eventually came off the run in 7th, but I think I came out of transition in 4th and snuck up to 3rd by virtue of clipping in faster than the kid I came out of transition with. That actually worked out better for him than me as he got comfortably onto my wheel and sat there getting a completely free ride for the first 8 miles until I had my first major attack of cramp and he pulled up alongside. I managed to ease my calfs off a little and as soon as I was back on the power he just slipped in for more of the slipsteraming.
I was struggling enough every time I had to stretch that my shadow decided to go on the attack. That is maybe a bit harsh. The first couple of times he just rolled around and didn't have much more to go so he ended up pulling for a slower quarter-mile stretch till I recovered enough to put the pace back up. The third time when he got level I was seriously considering getting off the bike to stretch and I told him just to drop me and push on. He didn't need to be told twice and he quickly opened a decent gap. Unstrapping and loosening off my shoes helped a little but not enough. A nice downhill section gave me a chance to try and stretch but being on the tri-bars was tightening my hips so I still wasn't getting much respite.
Then a couple of back-markers on long-short combinations started coming into view in front. The incentive of picking people off and catching back to the kid put my race head back into gear and was enough to help me work over the cramp. I managed to catch my shadow and he got another couple of miles free on my wheel before two of the long-long riders caught us. They were pushing at a different pace and I was able to get a few hundred yards of my own wheel-sucking into each of them and despite the pace increase I was getting enough of a rest to ease of the cramp so when I lost each of them I was able to keep the pace high enough that I finally dropped the kid with about a mile and a half to go.
The 7-mile run is the furthest I have run since September last year and averaging under 8min-miles for such a testing course was much better than expected. Despite the regular pedalling breaks to try and stretch off I still managed to clock my fastest ever bike ride, averaging 17mph for the hour. This probably had a lot to do with the relative flatness of the course but it was also the hardest and cleanest I have worked on the bike yet even including the stretching breaks.
Only real mistake of the day was the decision not to wear calf guards or compression socks. Have had them on since I got home to try and cut down any overnight effect so that I can go out to Knockburn tomorrow.
Even the short run is cruel. It starts off ok on a nice quiet, winding country road with a bit of a gentle climb. But then it gets rapidly harder when you are turned into a field and have to run through fresh cut grass along the side of a hill tilted at 30 degrees right to left. That goes to a rutted farm track, then another section of road, then a nasty little wooden bridge. All this was already making it hard to get into a proper running rhythm but this was before the climbs and the forest tracks. Then it turns down hill and you have the same combination in reverse. With the added option of a 50-yard shortcut if you want to cut through the burn instead of the bridge (pass!).
I eventually came off the run in 7th, but I think I came out of transition in 4th and snuck up to 3rd by virtue of clipping in faster than the kid I came out of transition with. That actually worked out better for him than me as he got comfortably onto my wheel and sat there getting a completely free ride for the first 8 miles until I had my first major attack of cramp and he pulled up alongside. I managed to ease my calfs off a little and as soon as I was back on the power he just slipped in for more of the slipsteraming.
I was struggling enough every time I had to stretch that my shadow decided to go on the attack. That is maybe a bit harsh. The first couple of times he just rolled around and didn't have much more to go so he ended up pulling for a slower quarter-mile stretch till I recovered enough to put the pace back up. The third time when he got level I was seriously considering getting off the bike to stretch and I told him just to drop me and push on. He didn't need to be told twice and he quickly opened a decent gap. Unstrapping and loosening off my shoes helped a little but not enough. A nice downhill section gave me a chance to try and stretch but being on the tri-bars was tightening my hips so I still wasn't getting much respite.
Then a couple of back-markers on long-short combinations started coming into view in front. The incentive of picking people off and catching back to the kid put my race head back into gear and was enough to help me work over the cramp. I managed to catch my shadow and he got another couple of miles free on my wheel before two of the long-long riders caught us. They were pushing at a different pace and I was able to get a few hundred yards of my own wheel-sucking into each of them and despite the pace increase I was getting enough of a rest to ease of the cramp so when I lost each of them I was able to keep the pace high enough that I finally dropped the kid with about a mile and a half to go.
The 7-mile run is the furthest I have run since September last year and averaging under 8min-miles for such a testing course was much better than expected. Despite the regular pedalling breaks to try and stretch off I still managed to clock my fastest ever bike ride, averaging 17mph for the hour. This probably had a lot to do with the relative flatness of the course but it was also the hardest and cleanest I have worked on the bike yet even including the stretching breaks.
Only real mistake of the day was the decision not to wear calf guards or compression socks. Have had them on since I got home to try and cut down any overnight effect so that I can go out to Knockburn tomorrow.
Sunday 20 May 2012
Meet the new boss, same as the old boss
So it has been a couple of weeks since my last update. And still I can't talk about some of it while the lawyers sort things out. I can say that I will not be working for Stork Technical Services from June 8th. I can say that I will be staying in my role as Asset Integrity Focal Point at ConocoPhillips, so effectively there is no change to my actual day job. And I can say that my decision was not motivated by money. Any more detail than that my solicitor has advised me not to discuss at this time.
So what else have I been up to in the last couple of weeks. Well there was Turriff triathlon. I would have done a race report but since it would amount to: swum slower than monday's time trial, biked slower than wednesday's recce and ran slower for 4k than I have in the last 4 years for 5k, it isn't going to be a report worth reading. On the plus side, I did at least manage to finish the race and I did just about cope with the crowd at the race briefing.
I also had Dexter come to stay with me for a week while his dog-walker was on holiday. Managed to go out to the park with him quite a lot, and even got him to take me out for a couple of jogs around Dyce. Was hoping to continue that after he went home but haven't been able to.
Yesterday I went out for a bike ride with some of TPT. I think this was my longest single ride ever at 29.5 miles. It was a nice social roll around Inverurie. Not too strenuous, but good to be outside and doing some proper exercise. If I include the time on the exercise bike, I have already biked more than double the miles this year than any previous year. And even excluding the exercise bike I am on target for my biggest outdoor cycling year ever.
So what else have I been up to in the last couple of weeks. Well there was Turriff triathlon. I would have done a race report but since it would amount to: swum slower than monday's time trial, biked slower than wednesday's recce and ran slower for 4k than I have in the last 4 years for 5k, it isn't going to be a report worth reading. On the plus side, I did at least manage to finish the race and I did just about cope with the crowd at the race briefing.
I also had Dexter come to stay with me for a week while his dog-walker was on holiday. Managed to go out to the park with him quite a lot, and even got him to take me out for a couple of jogs around Dyce. Was hoping to continue that after he went home but haven't been able to.
Yesterday I went out for a bike ride with some of TPT. I think this was my longest single ride ever at 29.5 miles. It was a nice social roll around Inverurie. Not too strenuous, but good to be outside and doing some proper exercise. If I include the time on the exercise bike, I have already biked more than double the miles this year than any previous year. And even excluding the exercise bike I am on target for my biggest outdoor cycling year ever.
Monday 30 April 2012
May you live in interesting times
Today was certainly interesting. I can't write about most of it yet though. It is a secret and it probably involves more lawyers.
On the plus side. I managed to run a mile outside and go out on the bike on my own yesterday, and clocked a not unreasonable 21miles in 1hr18 in plenty of wind. Then today's swim session included a 750m time trial. It was technically terrible. Bad turns, no catch, untidy breathing, without my tri-suit, with fogged up goggles and with yesterday's run and bike in my legs. But still I managed to put in a relatively comfortable 13:59. I have swum faster pace for 400m races (just) but it is about 30 seconds inside my best 750 race swim from last year. With all those things to tidy I should go comfortably inside 14 at the weekend.
On the plus side. I managed to run a mile outside and go out on the bike on my own yesterday, and clocked a not unreasonable 21miles in 1hr18 in plenty of wind. Then today's swim session included a 750m time trial. It was technically terrible. Bad turns, no catch, untidy breathing, without my tri-suit, with fogged up goggles and with yesterday's run and bike in my legs. But still I managed to put in a relatively comfortable 13:59. I have swum faster pace for 400m races (just) but it is about 30 seconds inside my best 750 race swim from last year. With all those things to tidy I should go comfortably inside 14 at the weekend.
Thursday 12 April 2012
Knockburn Duathlon
It has taken me a couple of weeks to write this. Not because I don't have the time. I just don't really care enough.
Even with a lot of people I knew signing up to the race I couldn't really be sure I would cope with even going, never mind racing or competing. I packed all my gear the night before and loaded up the car. On the morning of the race I tried to switch into auto-pilot with my normal race routine but it didn't really work. I was much too stressed about going and it was all I could do to drive out to the race.
Once I got there I spent about 10minutes trying to decide if I could even get out of the car. Once I did get out I couldn't actually get as far as registration until I found someone to hide behind. I eventually managed to get my bike out and set-up in the closest transition spot to the car park and then found people to hide behind until the start of the race.
So to the actual race.
First 2k lap of first run was pretty terrible, it was all I could do to keep my legs moving and stay in front of Bert. Second lap of run was a little better. Felt a bit more relaxed and at least managed to catch back up to a group, but still dropped over 2 minutes on the guys I was running against last year. Transition was untidy but I got out in the front of the group.
That lasted about 100 yards until we hit the base of the first hill. I am definitely biking better than I was last year but I was still much too tense after the run and the climb was more than I was able for. The whole group went past me and just kept stretching away. That is about what I expected though so I wasn't too bothered by it. I expected to catch a few back on the descents, and for the first half of the downhill section I was making more places than I was losing. I caught up to a few people that I knew, but I had to shed way too much speed to make a sharp left over some gravel and afterwards I just didn't have it in my legs, or my will, to get back up to speed. Somewhere around there I made the decision that all I wanted out of the day was to finish and I just went backwards, losing time and places.
Second transition was tidier than first, although the clock said otherwise. Second run, I knew before I started was going to be a problem. The tension from the first run was back and added to it was the tension in my back from the second half of the bike. No surprise then that even from my place near the back of the field I still managed to lose more places on the second run. Losing nearly 4 minutes on the 'beatable' runners near the front this time.
Post race I managed to clear up my bike and I even went on for a coffee and a sandwich during the presentation. Being in a crowded room was a bit stressful again, even knowing enough of the people in the room didn't really help.
Even with a lot of people I knew signing up to the race I couldn't really be sure I would cope with even going, never mind racing or competing. I packed all my gear the night before and loaded up the car. On the morning of the race I tried to switch into auto-pilot with my normal race routine but it didn't really work. I was much too stressed about going and it was all I could do to drive out to the race.
Once I got there I spent about 10minutes trying to decide if I could even get out of the car. Once I did get out I couldn't actually get as far as registration until I found someone to hide behind. I eventually managed to get my bike out and set-up in the closest transition spot to the car park and then found people to hide behind until the start of the race.
So to the actual race.
First 2k lap of first run was pretty terrible, it was all I could do to keep my legs moving and stay in front of Bert. Second lap of run was a little better. Felt a bit more relaxed and at least managed to catch back up to a group, but still dropped over 2 minutes on the guys I was running against last year. Transition was untidy but I got out in the front of the group.
That lasted about 100 yards until we hit the base of the first hill. I am definitely biking better than I was last year but I was still much too tense after the run and the climb was more than I was able for. The whole group went past me and just kept stretching away. That is about what I expected though so I wasn't too bothered by it. I expected to catch a few back on the descents, and for the first half of the downhill section I was making more places than I was losing. I caught up to a few people that I knew, but I had to shed way too much speed to make a sharp left over some gravel and afterwards I just didn't have it in my legs, or my will, to get back up to speed. Somewhere around there I made the decision that all I wanted out of the day was to finish and I just went backwards, losing time and places.
Second transition was tidier than first, although the clock said otherwise. Second run, I knew before I started was going to be a problem. The tension from the first run was back and added to it was the tension in my back from the second half of the bike. No surprise then that even from my place near the back of the field I still managed to lose more places on the second run. Losing nearly 4 minutes on the 'beatable' runners near the front this time.
Post race I managed to clear up my bike and I even went on for a coffee and a sandwich during the presentation. Being in a crowded room was a bit stressful again, even knowing enough of the people in the room didn't really help.
Friday 16 March 2012
Train properly?
I thought about much of the content this blog last week when I read an article on velominati:
http://www.velominati.com/la-vie-velominatus/la-vie-velominatus-train-properly/
The day before that article was published, I had something of an epiphany day in the gym. I had started what was meant to be an easy 30min recovery on the exercise bike. Aiming to just roll over 7-8 miles on easy to clear my legs out. About 10 or 11 minutes in I was already starting to struggle. My legs were aching and despite it being a simple recovery day I was paying for the previous few days of hard sessions. I was rapidly digging one of those holes that would result in walking off the bike like a saturday-nighter falling out of espionage. I decided I would just tick over till 15minutes and then get off and go home.
And then that little switch flipped over and everything was suddenly no effort. The pedals felt lighter, and turning 90 revs was no effort at all, the clock seemed to jump from 11 minutes to 20 and then 25 and 30 in the blink of an eye, all the aches disappeared and I was turning the watts up over 170 for the last ten minutes and feeling easier than I have since I have been back training.
The next couple of days were pretty much the same, big numbers, for low effort. And then the weekend arrived and for a reason that I still haven't been able to work out I had a fairly big relapse on Saturday. Still not sure why I have had such a bad week after that but managed to go swimming Thursday night and felt as close to normal as I have. Hopefully it is the same effect as the gym where I am through the hard lump and suddenly everything is easier again.
(500) Days of Summer is on again. It is about the tenth time this month that I have started watching it, and the first time I survived past the opening 25 minutes. Still didn't make it to 40 though.
http://www.velominati.com/la-vie-velominatus/la-vie-velominatus-train-properly/
The day before that article was published, I had something of an epiphany day in the gym. I had started what was meant to be an easy 30min recovery on the exercise bike. Aiming to just roll over 7-8 miles on easy to clear my legs out. About 10 or 11 minutes in I was already starting to struggle. My legs were aching and despite it being a simple recovery day I was paying for the previous few days of hard sessions. I was rapidly digging one of those holes that would result in walking off the bike like a saturday-nighter falling out of espionage. I decided I would just tick over till 15minutes and then get off and go home.
And then that little switch flipped over and everything was suddenly no effort. The pedals felt lighter, and turning 90 revs was no effort at all, the clock seemed to jump from 11 minutes to 20 and then 25 and 30 in the blink of an eye, all the aches disappeared and I was turning the watts up over 170 for the last ten minutes and feeling easier than I have since I have been back training.
The next couple of days were pretty much the same, big numbers, for low effort. And then the weekend arrived and for a reason that I still haven't been able to work out I had a fairly big relapse on Saturday. Still not sure why I have had such a bad week after that but managed to go swimming Thursday night and felt as close to normal as I have. Hopefully it is the same effect as the gym where I am through the hard lump and suddenly everything is easier again.
(500) Days of Summer is on again. It is about the tenth time this month that I have started watching it, and the first time I survived past the opening 25 minutes. Still didn't make it to 40 though.
Wednesday 14 March 2012
Two steps forward, five steps back
Went out on the road bike in Sunday with a group. Was struggling on the hills and after 10 miles of suffering and still falling off the back at even the slightest hint of a climb I decided to get out while they went on for 50. Took the flattest and easiest route that I could to get back to the car. Was quite surprised and impressed that I coped on my own for the 45 minutes it took me to get back to the car. But that was the end of the good news, it has been downhill from there for the last couple of days.
I forced myself to go to swimming on Monday. I couldn't make up my mind if it was worth going before I left the house. I managed to get in the water and splash up and down for about 5 minutes. I shouldn't have bothered.
I have decided to drop out of the online course I was doing at MIT. I did week 1 of the homework using the instructions in the course material got less than half of the questions right. I did week 2 without looking at any of their course material at all and scored 100%. There are so many errors in their course it is utterly worthless. Disappointing that MIT are so badly organised, seems they were in too much of a rush to be first and forgot to do it well.
This was going to be a much longer post but I just can't be bothered.
Saturday 3 March 2012
When is a DNF a good day?
Today I decided to try and go out on my own. 'On my own' is a bit of a stretch. I found a race I could go to, that was organised by someone I trusted. I checked the entry list to make sure none of the people that threatened me would be there. I went down as late as I felt I could get away with still making the entry deadline. And half a dozen other precautions as well.
So I managed an 800m swim in 14:47. Same race last year I did 15:10 and previous 750m PB is 14:45. Considering the amount I missed it is good to be coming out with PB's in the very first event of a season.
Transition was similarly great, was out and running in under 27 seconds, and three places up on where I came out of the swim.
First lap on the run wasn't terrible, was losing time and places to the three that I passed in transition but I didn't expect anything else having only jogged 3 miles outdoors this year and 9 since the start of September. Lap 2 was a big downhill though. The cheering from Pittodrie had me working out what time the game would finish and what time I would finish. Realising that the game was over before I would be off the roads and that I would have to deal with the crowds was too stressful. Within about 400 yards I went from a slow but comfortable jog to walking and barely being able to breathe. From there it was all I could manage to tell one of the officials I was quitting and get back to hide in the changing rooms.
So a DNF, theoretically I should be upset. I can't even remember my last DNF (My training diary says it was a track 10k in 2010). And I am sure I have never considered a DNF to be a successful step forward before. I managed to go outside without a babysitter. I did have a panic attack, but only after I had survived over half an hour with a group of strangers in a room and had survived a decent swim. So overall, a good day out.
Transition was similarly great, was out and running in under 27 seconds, and three places up on where I came out of the swim.
First lap on the run wasn't terrible, was losing time and places to the three that I passed in transition but I didn't expect anything else having only jogged 3 miles outdoors this year and 9 since the start of September. Lap 2 was a big downhill though. The cheering from Pittodrie had me working out what time the game would finish and what time I would finish. Realising that the game was over before I would be off the roads and that I would have to deal with the crowds was too stressful. Within about 400 yards I went from a slow but comfortable jog to walking and barely being able to breathe. From there it was all I could manage to tell one of the officials I was quitting and get back to hide in the changing rooms.
So a DNF, theoretically I should be upset. I can't even remember my last DNF (My training diary says it was a track 10k in 2010). And I am sure I have never considered a DNF to be a successful step forward before. I managed to go outside without a babysitter. I did have a panic attack, but only after I had survived over half an hour with a group of strangers in a room and had survived a decent swim. So overall, a good day out.
Friday 2 March 2012
Working for the chain gang
First time out on the road bike since a couple of rides in August last year. Successfully put my bike back together, and no skipping gears or sticking brakes, so marking up the cables before I took them out worked a lot better than expected. 2 hours to do 28 miles pretty good going, so happy enough to have survived that, especially after just under 2 hours on the mountain bike the day before.
Managed to go out with a new friend and a few of her friends last week. Saw a couple of people I used to know, while I was out. Resisted the urge to run away and just about kept the panic attack under control, which I was quite impressed with. Got a few funny looks from my friend so obviously she figured something was wrong with me but she wan't sure what it was and I wasn't up for telling her. Also managed to resist the urge to punch or glass him, or to tell her some of the more interesting aspects of his dating history. If she wants to be second-hand to a string of prostitutes that is her look-out. I was advised not to write that, but it is true so fuck it, and anyway there is no need to take my word for it, it wasn't like he kept it a secret.
That my one attempt at going out socially had me so stressed and in a state for the next couple of days meant that I haven't tried to go out again. The nearest I got was getting a friend to take me to the apple store this morning with my broken phone and then to the beach with Dexter this afternoon and even that left me stressed out for the day.
In numbers the last three weeks have been mostly good. Have lost a couple of kilos again, back down to 72, which is a bit disappointing. But in the 22 days since I last posted, while I have clocked up a pitiful 11.7 running miles (all treadmill), I have also managed a half-decent 118 on the bike (28 road, 15 mountain, 75 exercise bike) and a slightly short 2.5 in the pool.
I had an opportunity to go out to try and run tomorrow or sunday but I haven't been able to arrange a babysitter to look after me so will be sitting in front of the TV all weekend again instead.
Managed to go out with a new friend and a few of her friends last week. Saw a couple of people I used to know, while I was out. Resisted the urge to run away and just about kept the panic attack under control, which I was quite impressed with. Got a few funny looks from my friend so obviously she figured something was wrong with me but she wan't sure what it was and I wasn't up for telling her. Also managed to resist the urge to punch or glass him, or to tell her some of the more interesting aspects of his dating history. If she wants to be second-hand to a string of prostitutes that is her look-out. I was advised not to write that, but it is true so fuck it, and anyway there is no need to take my word for it, it wasn't like he kept it a secret.
That my one attempt at going out socially had me so stressed and in a state for the next couple of days meant that I haven't tried to go out again. The nearest I got was getting a friend to take me to the apple store this morning with my broken phone and then to the beach with Dexter this afternoon and even that left me stressed out for the day.
In numbers the last three weeks have been mostly good. Have lost a couple of kilos again, back down to 72, which is a bit disappointing. But in the 22 days since I last posted, while I have clocked up a pitiful 11.7 running miles (all treadmill), I have also managed a half-decent 118 on the bike (28 road, 15 mountain, 75 exercise bike) and a slightly short 2.5 in the pool.
I had an opportunity to go out to try and run tomorrow or sunday but I haven't been able to arrange a babysitter to look after me so will be sitting in front of the TV all weekend again instead.
Friday 10 February 2012
Boring update
Another trip out to Scolty on the mountain bike last Sunday, followed by another expensive trip to the bike shop. Chain gave up and took the whole of the rear mech, and hanger with it as it departed.
This week in the gym has been similarly up and down. Tuesday I managed to clock my best session so far in the gym, following up a 30min 5k with 9.6miles in 30mins on the exercise bike. Then Wednesday I could barely run at all and had to bail on the treadmill at 1.1 miles and the bike at 20 mins and less than 5 miles. Today was then a mix of both, clocking by far my best run with a 27:15, 5k but then collapsed mid-interval on the bike at 15mins when my heart rate hit 200 even though I was pushing less than 160watts.
This week totals up at 7.5 miles run in over 75 mins and 18.5 miles on the bike in 68mins. In the same week last year I racked up over 32 miles just running.
Not really sure why I am bothering with the gym. I have only ever done any training for a reason and at the minute I don't really have one. I don't enjoy it. I don't like the numbers. Still it is saving me from going home and sitting in front of the TV for a few hours a week and it isn't making me any worse.
Final news on the numbers front up to 76kg. At least 4 weeks of gym has helped to start moving that in the right direction. Still nearly a stone underweight so plenty more to go.
On the non-numbers front, I managed to go to the Co-op on my own to pick up bread and milk for my granny. I say 'on my own' but I had Dexter and Holly as far as the door and I could still see them from inside the shop.
Sunday 22 January 2012
2012 - Three weeks, three runs
Haven't posted for three weeks. Would love to claim it is because of the hectic life I have been leading but really it is because I have done nothing worth writing about.
And three runs is a bit of an exaggeration as well. Made three trips to the gym this week. It is in the office at work so no risk from going outside.
And three runs is a bit of an exaggeration as well. Made three trips to the gym this week. It is in the office at work so no risk from going outside.
In those three sessions I have managed to rack up the sum total of 6.1 miles on the treadmill in a little over an hour. Not even 10k, split over 3 sessions. By this time last year I was at 86 miles, including 3 races, plus another 19 miles on the bike (9.8 this year) and 3 miles in the water (1.4 this year).
Sunday 1 January 2012
Broke Bike Mountain
Relatively good start to the year having been out today to visit my granny and I got out on the mountain bike with a couple of friends for a while.
Mountain biking is turning into an expensive hobby. Only the third time out on the bike and it will require yet another trip to the shop for new parts. Broken front mech this time. Still cant figure out how it broke. It is a relatively protected component so it can't have hit it on rocks or roots.
The bike shop website says they are open tomorrow, so hopefully will manage to take it in and get it fixed before going back to work. Will probably need to find someone to go with me though. Yesterday's solo trip to the local shop, even though I drove the quarter mile there and back, resulted in a couple of hours of being sick and the subsequent dehydration left me this morning with a New Year's hangover today without any of the drinking jolliness.
Still another couple of days to fill in before going back to work. Running out of books to read, films to watch and more than sick of holiday TV. The bike shop should fill an hour worth of tomorrow but could do with the distractions of being back at work.
Mountain biking is turning into an expensive hobby. Only the third time out on the bike and it will require yet another trip to the shop for new parts. Broken front mech this time. Still cant figure out how it broke. It is a relatively protected component so it can't have hit it on rocks or roots.
The bike shop website says they are open tomorrow, so hopefully will manage to take it in and get it fixed before going back to work. Will probably need to find someone to go with me though. Yesterday's solo trip to the local shop, even though I drove the quarter mile there and back, resulted in a couple of hours of being sick and the subsequent dehydration left me this morning with a New Year's hangover today without any of the drinking jolliness.
Still another couple of days to fill in before going back to work. Running out of books to read, films to watch and more than sick of holiday TV. The bike shop should fill an hour worth of tomorrow but could do with the distractions of being back at work.
New Year, New Blog
So 2011 stands without a doubt, challenge or contest as the worst year of my life.
While I am still far from being back to my normal self, December at least saw some fairly major progress in that direction. In the spirit of New Years, new starts and all that nonsense I have decided to begin a new blog.
Let us see what 2012 brings then...
While I am still far from being back to my normal self, December at least saw some fairly major progress in that direction. In the spirit of New Years, new starts and all that nonsense I have decided to begin a new blog.
Let us see what 2012 brings then...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)